Catie Time
I would love a normal day of being what I believed I was called/created to be a wife and mother! I have to wrap me head around the idea that God knew this day would come for us and that God alone knows how it is going and when it is going to end. I realize better than anyone what it takes to run our home “my way”. I never felt crazy busy, many people think I was because they have smaller families and multiply the number and arrive at insane. But I know that if Kevin is working full time, cooking because he loves to, and taking care of the kids – it is a ton of work for one person. I can’t help him.
I can only live life here and focus on Catie. So I do laundry 1X/week. I rarely cook because Catie likes to eat out or if we eat in she has spaghetti or mac and cheese and that is not cooking. I sit and listen to Catie. I play games with Catie. I read books with Catie. I go shopping with Catie – it helps to keep her active in this heat. I visit the sites of Memphis with Catie. While I am “playing” I hate to think of all the work that Kevin is doing at home. If I think about home I want to be there. I want to help. I want and the list goes on…so again I don’t think about what is happening but rather about who it is happening to, Kevin.
I have never been one to look at the children of other people in public, now I do. Kevin always would pet any passing dog, wave hi to any child and buy lemonade from every stand whether it was a stand he was passing or not. I am becoming more like Kevin everyday as a way of connecting with him now that he is not with me. As I write this, the following thought has occurred to me; that is what GOD WANTS ME TO DO. Not that God wants me to do what Kevin does to remind myself of Kevin and find comfort but rather to do what His son Jesus did and there find comfort. I know this works. The days when I sit quietly with God and just calmly sit, not run down a list of desires, needs and thank yous, but just sit. Those days are so special. Those days I see the answer – I was created to make this situation better not just for Catie, for Kevin and the other five, for those on the e-mails and for myself. I hear God speaking to me. Telling me “You are not alone I am with you. If you feel lonely that is a choice I am right here waiting to be with you”.
Perspective. Attitude. Prayer. Peace. God has all the answers right here and right now and only a child gets it because children live in the moment. Catie lives in the moment. Cool Mom there is ice cream let’s get some. Cool Mom there is a book let’s read it. Cool Mom the man is playing the piano let’s listen. She wants no schedule – she just wants to experience life as it comes to her. If I planned each of her days – we would have missed out on the amazing things that occurred spontaneously. I believe that the folks who gathered to listen to Jesus didn’t do a lot of packing or planning to be there when He spoke, maybe they did. Clearly many of the disciples didn’t, remember those guys only brought 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. There wasn’t a wedding planner among them and yet more then two thousand years later the party is still going.
That is the key to living through life, whether you are with a child fighting brain cancer far away from the rest of your family or at home living day to day, LIVE IT. Experience the good, bad and ugly and if you really are living life with faith you will see blessings and love and wondrous things come out of it all. Ask Uncle John, Aunt Lynn, Austin, Douglas and Anna. They spent Monday and Tuesday with Catie and I. They witnessed ordinary things happening. They listened to Catie sing “You Are My Sunshine” in the lobby of the Peabody Hotel accompanied by the paino. They took a ride in Cinderella’s carriage. They searched the city of Memphis for dessert. They followed a child and witnessed her life and allowed themselves to be touched by the beauty and simplicity of Catie.
That is why the party is still going. People want to be touched. Don’t you all want to be touched? Isn’t that why you called Kevin yesterday morning Angela, because there was no e-mail sent the night before? There was no e-mail because I was riding in Cinderella’s carriage and Kevin was playing volleyball and no one told Maggie or Max that they could take a crack at writing the e-mails. Some of you still feel helpless. Some of you still don’t know what to do. Do anything. Do something that you’ve never done before. Write to us. Write to Catie. Log onto the new website. Light a candle for Catie. Light a candle and say a prayer for the most important person in your life. Treat yourself to a date with your spouse, and let us live vicariously through the wonderful time you spent with the love of your life. Doing something will make you fell less helpless and more empowered. Faith in something is empowering. Faith requires action. So do something and tell us what you did. We share very openly with all of you but we can keep a secret. We would do that for you.
God Bless,
Christine, Kevin, Maggie, Max, Catie, Mia, Molly, and M.E.
PS – Mia and Megan have arrived safely in Memphis
PPS – Elvis has returned to Memphis! Catie received an I-dog from her cousins Matthew and Heather, in addition to doing tricks, it also plugs into her i-pod and becomes a speaker for her music. She has named the dog Elvis.
Have a great night!
