Day 31

Hello, it’s me again,

As I begin to prepare for the Lenten season I wonder if I have offered you, given you, showed you, shared with you all enough. That is not what we originally set out to do. Our initial intention was to simply ask for prayers. Our initial request started as an e-mail to two friends asking for prayers for our daughter. One of us saw our current reality as a possibility. The other one of us believed every literal word of the Bible and believed that if there was enough faith and prayer that a miracle would happen. Somehow along the way the focus changed for me, I began to see the innocent eyes of a child reading this story and I began to hope and pray that what we shared answered their questions, stirred their faith and offered them hope in life and death. Catie’s Story was read to each of our children. It was read to the fab 5 by Kevin while Catie was away and it was read by Catie each night. Mom-Mom continued reading it to the fab 5 while Kevin was at St. Jude with Catie. The fab 5 still ask each day if we have posted something on the website.

What are they looking for? What do they want to know? They know how we are – we are with them again. We tell them. We do not hide our frustrations, sadness or our tears from the fab 5. They look into our eyes and search us. Some nights I wonder if M.E. will look away. [She is still holding my hand at dinner.] Each night we still look into the eyes of each of the fab 5 and ask if they are OK. Within the eyes of each of them I can see that they are. I see wonder and awe in Molly and M.E.’s eyes. Tonight while looking into Mia’s eyes I again saw joy. Maggie’s eyes are gentle and kind and filled with deep love. Max’s eyes are tired as he is late going to bed, but they are also filled with peace. We cannot look into the eyes of all of the children that have been exposed to Catie’s Story – I would if I could.

Instead I offer you this, the continuation of Catie’s Story. Today is day 31 of the final section of Catie’s Story. The final section is about how we continue to live and have faith now that Catie is in heaven. There was no miraculous healing of Catie’s physical body and yet there were many miracles. Cancer touches the lives of so many of us. Thankfully, pediatric cancer touches only a few in comparison. Catie’s Story is an outpouring from her cancer; that in many ways spread not unlike cancer – it is the story of faith, prayer and trust. Our faith is something that we willingly shared throughout the past 9 months.

We have been asked why we are not angry. We have been angry – but what purpose did that anger serve? Our anger could not take away Catie’s tumor or bring Catie back. So why be angry? I can’t find a reason. We have been asked how we are functioning. We are functioning just like we always have; some days better than others – just like you are functioning. We have been asked how we can laugh. Have you met the fab 5 – they are hilarious, just ask them. We have been asked, after all that you have been through does anything matter anymore? Of course it does. Love matters, our family matters, our faith matters, our example matters and Catie’s legacy matters. As each day passes we still miss Catie and yet we believe and place our trust in God. The more time we spend in prayer either acknowledging God’s amazing love for us or increasing our own understanding of God’s promises throughout all of history the more peace we feel.

We pray for you that throughout this Lenten season – the next forty days leading up to Easter – that you feel some of that peace too. We realize that not everyone who is following Catie’s Story follows a Lenten journey – that is not a problem because we feel that it is more important that we all focus on all that makes us similar and not different. What are our similarities? Our beliefs in love, family, faith, example and Catie’s legacy are for the most part much of what we all hold in common. Whoever you may love and hold dear, spend time each day showing and telling them how very much you love them. Make your family a priority in your life – eat with them, play with them and most importantly pray with them each and every day. Whatever your faith is; practice it each day – grow closer to your God through prayer. Whatever you do realize that you are giving someone the opportunity to learn a little bit about who you are by the things that you do and say; so be kind. By the end of the week please check out the website as a new event will be added to the event tab. The first Catie’s Legacy event will be held on March 15th in Blue Bell, PA come join us if you can and help make Catie’s Legacy a reality.

One of the most inspiring parts of Catie’s story and the most important part of Catie’s true Legacy are the stories of people she has touched in her life here on earth and her eternal life. Please continue to share those stories with us through the website or directly to our email addresses. We know that she made a difference and that she continues to make differences in people’s lives today. Share with us the little things that have gone right in your day because you asked Catie to assist you from heaven. Share the memories you have of her and her smile. If you want, we will share the stories with others, if not, we will hold them fondly in the silence of our hearts.

May God continue to bless you and keep you in His limitless embrace,

Christine, Kevin, Maggie, Max, Gianna, Catie, Mia, Molly, and M.E.

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