The Present of God’s Presence
As I sat in front of the Blessed Sacrament with Christine Monday evening, I was given a beautiful gift by God. There in the midst of my God and my bride in what has always been a source of strength and renewal, I felt an overwhelming sense of fatigue, hopelessness, and despair. Some gift. I could not explain it to Christine as I could not come to grips with it myself. I used to work with a pharmacist who was a vitamin supplement specialist, he knew more about vitamins and their helpful benefits that anyone I had ever met. When people would ask Rodger if this or that supplement would make them feel better, he would explain that most vitamins benefit us over time and that we have to be patient and allow them to build up in our bodies. He would then go on to tell them, “if you really want to know how much better you feel because you are taking these vitamins, stop taking them and see how lousy you feel..” That was the gift I received last night. God allowed me to really see and feel just how much He is supporting me. I looked and felt as if my skeleton had been removed, my posture drooped, my face went slack, I must have scared Christine because she halted all projects and just sat with me and held me. God allowed me to experience a night without His presence and support, and I literally fell apart and had a sense of unbelievable loneliness. I have never been uncomfortable being alone. Long commutes, endless hours in a car without the presence of another human being have never bothered me, because despite being alone, I was never lonely. I have been blessed that there was always someone I could call, think of, visit, and I always had God. Last night, He allowed me to see just what a blessing and a miracle His presence in my life really is by giving me a glimpse of just how fragile I am without Him.
As I received Him back into my life today in the Sacrament of the Eucharist, the peace and joy which usually fills me returned, not with trumpets blaring, but with the calm strength of a Father and a Brother who love me enough to simply walk by my side as I carry my cross and offer their encouragement and their presence. My cross would be an easy burden compared to His, but He lets me carry it rather than taking it from me because I would learn nothing along the way if He did all the work. He just lets me know He is there, and now He has let me know how life would be if He was not. Ask Him to join you on your journey, invite Him to walk by your side. Believe me, it makes all the difference in the world. We received a prayer request from someone visiting the website for a man named Robert who has been diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer that will claim his life in less than three months. While he has made all of the earthly preparations for his departure, ensuring that he will provide for those he leaves behind, he apparently does not believe in God nor has he ever prayed. The departure may be planned, but the arrival sounds like it might be an issue. Please pray for Robert, pray that God will touch his heart as He has touched mine. What Robert does not yet know is that some things are true whether you believe in them or not, and God is standing at Robert’s side just waiting for an invitation. Pray that Robert extends that invitation.
Catie’s lethargy continues however we were treated to a 2am visit from her and she seemed like her old self, bubbly, giggling, and I believe she was smiling but I was not about to turn on any lights. We will see if this was an anomaly or the start of her coming out of the sleeping haze. We leave this afternoon for Mom-Mom and Da’s house as Christine has multiple doctor’s appointments tomorrow for check-ups. The St. James event for Saturday promises to be terrific, and the Annointing on Sunday following the 11:15 mass at St. Joseph’s will be very special as well. We continue to be humbled and amazed by the outpouring of support. Please remember to keep lighting candles and signing the guestbook on the website, Catie loves to read the messages. There are new photos on the site as well, so if you are receiving the email updates, don’t forget to go to the website as well at www.catiesstory.com.Remember to check the events page; the Chili’s Day to support St. Jude is Monday September 29th, eat in or take out.
God bless you and may He be invited to all that you do today,
Christine, Kevin, Maggie, Max, Catie, Mia, Molly, and M.E.
